Film And Television Pillows

Celebrity without a cause

Netflix Award Show

'How many times have I told you to put the strainer in the sink when you're brain washing?'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"Your assignment is to analyze any one day in history and explain how you would adapt it to a cable TV miniseries."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Horror movies

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

No-Work Orange

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.