Film And Series Prints

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Billy. The Kid.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

No-Work Orange

Horror movies

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Comedy Cafe

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Stand-up Romcom

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."