Field Sports Aficionado Pillows

Discus Thrower's T-Shirt reads: I'm Dizzy.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

A Little Long Jumper.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'Here we go again...'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

High Jump

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"