Field Hockey Player Pillows

Today we'll practice the most important skill you'll learn this season. I hate passing drills. Maybe it's dribbling. Hold your cell phone like so. Focus in tight on your subject. Oh. Right. Making videos for college field hockey recruiters. Better angles equal higher scholarships.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Zdeno Chara

The Real March of the Penguins.

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'His wife is very supportive.'

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

Professional football.

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

Wilfried Zaha

"I don't care if your mother is watching on telly, just get the ball in the net!"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

'Where the Deer and the Antelope play and veterinary dental bills are high.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'