Field Commander Pillows

Referee

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Count Von Moltke.

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

Desert Vet.

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

Stretcher Header.

Pentagon

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

"I get more respect wearing a uniform."

General/medals.

"No, she likes me best!"

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Soccer and pandemic

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."