Fictional Therapy Enthusiast Prints

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Teach me not to care."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"No heroic measures."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Sardine psychologist.

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

Can I take your disorder?

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"You've got a few screws loose."