Festivus Gifts

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Home depot."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Dancing in pyjamas

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Santa does a keg stand.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

Christmas Presents.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"Merry Christmas"