Festive Upgrader Pillows

Santa Upgrades His Sleigh.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

Jack and the Snowman.

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

'No cuts in Medicare!'

"During the off-season, I thought I'd moonlight as the easter bunny."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

"...Won't be a minute darling, I'm just downloading Christmas."

"No, I'm not here to tell you you're off my naughty list for hacking. I just need to borrow your phone charger."

"I can guarantee it's the latest thing...until the next thing arrives."

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'You would think that he would have come up with a wireless solution for Rudolph's nose by now!'

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

'That reminds me, we need more bandwidth.'

"Our smart home just texted us. It said instead of binge watching shows, we should be updating it. It wants us to start with the kitchen."

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

Rudolph vents. . . .

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

STRIP Hambone: expensive new computer model

'All those years I rode those small bikes...well, as you can see, those days are over.'

'It's not directed at you. Most of us have to upgrade our computers a month after buying them.'

"I've managed to beat the taxman, I had a coffee in Starbucks, upgraded my Vodaphone and did some shopping on Amazon."

Kindly readers, scientific literature has long established that women who spend a lot of time together synchronize their hormonal cycles. I believe I have discovered an analogous phenomenon in men. They too synchronize their cycles. What cycles? Their upgrade cycles! Look carefully, if you will, at the way men who like or work in close quarters seem to develop similar cycles for upgrading phones, televisions and other gadgets. I got a new phone! I got a new butter churn! He's right! Aaaahhh!!!

Santa tweet

"Life was a lot easier before the 'Internet of Things'."

'Oh, you kids must be looking for computerland...through the door to your left.'

"My husband is much like his computer. . . a constant work in progress."

'It's just not your lucky night I guess - saaaay, hows about we deal fer what's in the sack big guy?!'

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Operation - Reindeer Games.