Festive Tale Collector Prints

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Define fair."

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

7 More Dwarfs

A feminist Christmas.

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Knight before Christmas

"I hate to spoil your porridge, but your son has a blonde in his room."

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

'I've been knocking for ages!'

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

Brothers Grimm

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

How the little banjo boy became a drummer

Free Chimney Cleaning.

Elf Farm

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

'Hunting doesn't make you naughty, it's natural: Santa knows that...'

Twas 4 nights before Christmas and Santa's spirits aren't high. Unless hitched to his sleigh, his reindeer can't fly...

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

Caterpillar and stockings.

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

"Well thank you very much! You've just woken the baby!"

'... Well, I don't know where your Daddy got that idea. I have plenty of brand new bikes in my workshop.'

Christmas Recalculating

Turkeys wearing top saying 'I'm with yummy'.