Festive Pragmatist Mugs

I've decided to send everyone money for christmas...

'Santa, snow is falling!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I don't believe in you!"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

There IS a Santa Claus.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Santa Claus Always Delivers

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

Xmas Labour Shortage

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'