Festive Light Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Get me a 75 watt red light bulb for Rudolph!"

"You hung our Christmas lights on the house across the street so you can see them???"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Yo ho ho!

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Merry Kissmas

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Elf of the Month

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Notice how the artist uses light to draw in the viewer."

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

Poinsettia

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

"Look what I found, this beautiful Christmas poncho. Isn't it festive?!"

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

December Fest

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

Santa Claus

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

Joey really wanted a Christmas Tree this year...

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."