Festive Fundraiser Gifts

"Crowdfunding..."

"We only got six days of funding."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"What are we doing wrong?"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

Professional Fund Riasers

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fund raiser."

'Profit or non-profit?'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Appeals

'Do we have enough money for sweets yet?'

'So then the alien stepped out of the UFO and said that he was a fundraiser from another planet, which was quite novel, I thought.'

"I am not a candidate. Just ask my campaign manager, press aides and fund raisers."

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

Birth of the Perpetual Fundraising Industry.