Festive Finance Fanatics Gifts

"I've hung all the credit card bills on the tree, maybe that will stop you going to the sales."

The day the stock market went UP.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

Born to raise interest rates.

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

Advent Calender.

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'