Festive Finance Fanatic Gifts

Santa Land: Low Credit Score and Good Credit Score.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

SEE SANTA!, 'Why don't we make it simple this year, and you just extend me a line of credit?'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"#Win!"

Annual profits,

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'