Festive Enforcer T-Shirts

'Merry Christmas.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Festivus poles

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

'No cuts in Medicare!'

'Hey you take that outside.'

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

May your Christmas be out of this world!

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

People sneaking into a Christmas tree farm.

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."

'Repetitive strain injury of the eyes?'

"I've made a Christmas list of topics not to be discussed at the table."

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

"Night before Christmas or no night before Christmas, I feel like stirring."

The Real War On Christmas

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

BipartiSanta.

Military Holidays Medals

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

"And you must be the domestic partner we refused to extend spousal benefits to."

Easter chocolate

Chewing on Happy Birthday letters.

Cop painting with 'NYPD Blue'

"Mr Claus, you're suspected of breaking into 987356410239 houses right through the chimney within one single night!"

'Where were you on the night of the 24th December?'

Celebrating Whatever - Celebration with blank modifiable banners.

Santa Strike

"Merry Freaking Christmas. Now get back to work"