Festive Cynics T-Shirts

'Christmas is coming ... a hop, skip and a jump ahead of the bill collector'

Santa in Lineup.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't believe in you!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"There was no Christmas Party."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

Christmas Sale Special

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

Collateral Santa

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

Wallowing in elf pity...