Festive Animal Lovers Pillows

"Technically, I'm a buck...but I identify as a doe."

Polly txt speak

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Horror movies

"Man's best friends."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Unemotional Support Animal

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"I have no thumbs."

'okay...where did you hide it?'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Dog wearing a cone

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Christmas Pets

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Chasebook

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"