Feline Sleuth Pillows

"What happened to what cat?"

"I just don't get it. According to my calculations, they spend on average five days out of seven away from home: Where do they go and what do they do?"

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Paranormal A-Z...

The practical psychopath

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

He looks so natural lying there...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

Missing Easter Egg

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Spy Satellite

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Lost Property - Missing Head

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

'The butler did it.'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Curiosity."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'