Feline Food Critic Pillows

"I'll have the creamed corn, hold the corn."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"CATS LOVE IT?! Who in the world writes this nonsense?"

"Come on, I dare ya. Ask her if it's gluten free."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'I've got it written down...'

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"I tried dog food once. It tasted like chicken."

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Four Star Meal

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

Sick Exhibitionist

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'I'm starved. Instead of a fly in my soup, make it a mouse.'

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

Diary Of A Cat: Slept. Ate some food. Yum.