Feline Diplomatic Relations Gifts

'And do you, Randall, take Linda and her cat that doesn't like you?'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Landing That Tough Account

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

Cat to boss: 'May I have some maternal leave this afternoon?'

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

Wildcat Strike.

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

'I heard Steve say: 'Either the cat goes or I do.''

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

Bipartisan.

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

'And how old were you when your mother first called you a scaredy cat.'

Cat Up Tree - "He refuses to come down unless you agree to all his demands."

'Mom! Max isn't playing with his food again.'

"There, are you happy?"

Reigning cats and dogs.

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

"How dare you say I am dogmatic!"

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'