Feline Defender Pillows

'Telling him he was going to be declawed was a bad idea. He decided to go out with a bang.'

"God gave me nine lives and with John Browning's help I'm going to keep it that way."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

No Soliciting

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

A Change of Scene.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Meowlzebub

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'