Feline Contemplator Pillows

Cat Philosophy

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Hard to follow...'

'Don't look at me!'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"How do I get down?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

Nocturne

"My one regret is not napping more."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

What if cats talked dirty...

"Any thoughts about pilling yourself?"

"The human is back - act normal."

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

'. . . I can see why people might believe in reincarnation but if you're already a cat - what's the point?!'

Zen Kitten

'Who are you and what do you want?'