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"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Fish in Water Cooler.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

Dog at a restaurant