Fee Worrier T-Shirts

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"You hear that? New Zealand plans to tax cow burps. You have been warned!"

Energy Bills

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"All I'm saying is, I wished for an endless summer vacation, and now the glaciers are melting."

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

'I told you this house was too near the nuclear reactor. My G-gnome's already been damaged.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'

Expectation - Man Awaits Tree So He Can Hang Himself.

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.