Fearless Bronco Buster Pillows

"Hang on, kid!"

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."

Joe hasn't been the same since training for that new biathlon--bronco busting and sumo wrestling.

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Boo hoo, I missed my targets - what's the worst he can do?"

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

'Have I told you how absolutely lovely you look today?'

'At the end of last week's program I enjoined our viewers to have a good day. Now, on the advice of counsel, I wish to retract that statement.'

Killing Santa

"That's what I like about you Smedley - you're not afraid to show fear!"

It's not that I cheat or read faces: I'm good at poker because I can smell fear...

'I'm up to my crevasse in snow.'

"Oh, stop whining - you knew this was just a dental practice."

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

Resistance.

"Man, Clowns really creep me out. . ."

"And in this corner is a wasp, so we're going to stay away from it."

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

Women Are Pissed Off At Uber, But Will They Switch To Lyft?

'The 'Waste Management' guidelines were bigger than the waste management containers!'

"Harold! There's something in the bath"

"The government doesn't want to STOP you going on strike, we simply want to make it fair..."

Opera singer screaming at a mouse to get that high pitch.

"Enough already, you imperious mother of outdoor sports!"

Stamp out bubble wrap.

Government Shutdown

"Pretty sure of herself, isn't she?"