Fearful Patient Prints

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Time for your pills.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

The New Age Dentist.

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

'-and who's next?'

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"The doctor will bill you now."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"This is going to be a little invasive."

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

Dentistry jokes.