Fear Enthusiast Pillows

The Scream at the movie theater.

Trichinosis

The monsters are no longer under the bed

'Are you a man or are you a mouse?'

'Thieving my foot - it's the wife, she fainted!'

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

Road Sharks.

Woman afraid of a snail.

A streak of fear ran through the entire town upon Black Widow Bill's return.

Bubbles snaps and whips out the balloon chainsaw.

"Did I like it? It frightened me to death! I had to close my eyes four times, my stomach is in knots, and I'll probably have nightmares for a week!... I loved it!"

Clown Phobia

"The Screamer" by Auguste Rodent

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Chiller Theatre

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Dead Funny

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"How was prom?"

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"Pencil eraser."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

Back to school: The Horror,

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"