Fashionista In Mud Prints

Dirty kid to mom: 'Mud is the new brown.'

'You call yourself a zebra? Where'd you get those stripes, in a zoo?'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

"It must be a fur tree."

'I'm tired of them laughing at our rear ends. It's like we have a genetic wardrobe malfunction.'

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'Don't be a fool, John! They'll kill you. Give them what they want - you can always buy another hat.'

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

'Going as a high-thread-count ghost again this year.'

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

Raining.

Cowgirl applying bullet shaped lipstick.

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'See, I just unzip my polar fleece when it's really hot.'

"Money talks. It says, 'spend me'."

"Let me remind you all of the policy against dressing provocatively, and yes, we're referring to what you wore last Tuesday, Don."

No, it can't be my size, it's comfortable.

I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...

"Seriously, Allan? Summer camo after Labour Day?! Quite the fashion faux pas, wouldn't you say?"

The grim reaper tries on new clothes

Jean and Sam - "Sorry, luv - No Jeans!"

'I distinctly remember telling you to wear 'sensible flippers'!'

'Being a secretary is really neat, Mr. Foskett -- I just love this white nail polish!'

Mushrooms Fashion

"He's not local, he's from a catalogue"

'I never would have joined this group had I known about the uniforms.'

'Anything to take those shoes off.'

"If I had known we'd be this long wandering in the wilderness, I would never have worn these shoes."

"Excuse me. I can't find the camouflage clothing."

Seasons.

'I'm through with older men - you dress to kill, then they turn up, wearing their distance glasses.'