Fashionista Gifts

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

"My word! I do believe that your hat is eating mine!!"

"I love it. Who did it?"

"I love your body - where did you get it?"

Hipster Island

'Not too much off the back.'

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"You know what I think – if the shoe exists, buy it."

The Fall Collection

Christies

Sensation in the Hamptons: A Man Strolls Down Main Street Wearing a Tie.

"Thanks. It's vintage."

THE GRAND TETONS EN BUSTIER

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

One size fits all store.

One Size Fits All

'And this style comes with a complimentary podiatrist appointment.'

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

Fertility Clinic - 'This designer baby is no longer fashionable...'

"Do these plants make me look fat?"

'How much for the mirror?'

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

"It's not that complicated. Just give the man a haircut. It ain't brain surgery."

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

In Trays titled: 'In', 'Out' and 'Back in Again'.

"Look at you! Breaking out the good sweatpants today."

How to make girls feel uglier so they buy more beauty products.

In the Guru District

Customers looking to buy shoes in the 'Trainers' section. Right next to them, a smaller section entitled 'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

'It's my newer, cooler look. I'm hoping my younger clients will dig it.'

'I'm feeling good about myself, again!'

Rock on Grandma!

Bet You Wish You Could Afford This Stuff!