Fashionable Parent Prints

Hot trends for parents 1. Crumb detailing 2. Camo stains magically only visible in public 3. Chunky pockets stuffed with stones, squashed leaves, tiny socks, and snack wrappers....

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"We have the exact same taste."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

How's the new one?

Dog with a neckerchief feeds dogs in matching nappies.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Yummy Mummy

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"It may look funny, but at least I'm warm."

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

I'm looking for a useful gift for a newborn. Nature's Baby Boutique. We have a large selection of essentials. Here are the 100% organic, fair trade, hand-dyed pashimina diaper covers. Wow! Nothing says "essential" like popped-on pashimina. A little dry-cleaning and it's good as new.

'I've no objection to children, darling, as long as they're carefully colour co-ordinated.'

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

A design, showing how the pretty hoods worn by ladies might be made useful as well as ornamental.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

'I can't wait till I outgrow my role as an accessory.'

Meals on Heels.

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

'My Mom wears her cap backwards to keep the sun out of the eyes in the back of her head.'

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

"You don't think he'll regret it when he's older?"

Scottish Baby

"Dad bods are so in right now."

'The vet wanted to give him one of those plastic things but I said I have a much nicer lampshade thank you very much.'

I Love NY Dog

"Nice sweater."

'It's a record of my daughter's rising hemline.'

Entering "So, what are your kids doing?" (formerly Brooklyn)