Fashion Employee T-Shirts

How's this skirt? Cute, but too short. You don't want to attract attention by your looks alone. Of course not. That would be so wrong. Do you need help? Shh! Can you put this on hold? I'd be happy to, um, put it back for you! Bye! And they say good service is dead!

The Style of Elements

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'These are called, 'Diet Pants.' They'll never fit, but you'll burn 250 calories trying to get into them.'

Casual Thursday

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Utility Chic.

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

"You're terrific, Katia. You think like 'The New York Review of Books' and look like 'Vogue.'"

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

The New Business Power Suit

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

Bar Refaeli

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"We'll be seeing appalling shorts throughout the country and scattered outbreaks of ill-advised vests ..."

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

Jane found she just couldn't handle the fast-paced life of a runway model

Martina Klein