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"I'll bet you think I'm a terrible opportunist."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Western Outfitters.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

Unusual Offers

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

Washington - last chance to buy hip boots.

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

It's a see through nightie...that magnifies!

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

Merger at 28th and Lex