Farmstead Fan Prints

The Scenic Route

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Is his nose locally grown?"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Grocery Shopping

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."