Farmhouse Comedy T-Shirts

"You call this pigswill food?"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Grassy breath?

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'She says her stomachs ache.'

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'