Farmer's Market Fan Pillows

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Grocery Shopping

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.