Farm Humorists Mugs

Thanks for the heads up on the gelatinous cube!

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

Cow Pockets

Sheep has it's fur shorn into a tutu.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"I'm an enigma!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'