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"It's okay. When the moon is full, the only thing I'm slashing are the prices."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Winter Weather.

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

"Devi's brew?"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Men Working Things Out

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

Woman's lover turns out to be a rhino

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"Has he had all his shots"