Fantasy Cowpoke Gifts

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

Sick Rancher Humor

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

A Grazing Shark

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'I don't feel at home on the range.'

'Loose Nuke Round Up!'

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'

"This desk job is killing me Jim. I need to be out in the field."

A horse of a different color, and matching scarf.

'Hello Shitty.'

Cow Boy

"Ok stranger - you draw first...."

Agoraphobic Cowboys: 'Give me land, not much land, in a tight confining space please fence me in!'

"The buck stops here. You called?"

'How'd you like to become my sidekick?'

OK Corral.

Cow wrestling with ring through nose.

"Sorry, but they call themselves cowboys: so they must love us more than they love their horses..."

Cow Writers Block.

"If you're lookin' for treble, stranger, you've come to the right place!"

F&E Ranch. If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer a tattoo.

"And I don't want you tellin' those cowpokes back at the bar-zo 'bout this pillow!"