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F.D.A. Raid

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"Very Presidential."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Split Decision

In my day, they didn

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Recipes for comfort drinks.

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Alexei Kosygin

"Mr Bush? I have a little job for you in North Korea..."

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"It's O.K. to admit that the sanctions are taking their toll."

Leftie Trump

Fake News for Fake People

Be the Lame Change You Seek

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

"We're students and we don't like this sculpture. Have it removed by tomorrow."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Violent Rhetoric

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

Trump's Wall

"I hope that you're not refusing free dental care for ideological reasons."