Fang Fiction Fan Pillows

Vampire sits beneath a sign that says acupuncture

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Eat my dust!"

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

Hansel and Gretal

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Going Down?

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Mermaids in love

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'Well this is awkward.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'