Fancy Restaurant Aficionado Prints

'I am sorry, sir, but zee facilities are for zee paying customers only.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

La Table

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Expense account or regular?"