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"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"What a way to go."

UFO and snowman

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Odd Spas

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Magnet at scrapyard

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Hypnotato,

The Bonvoy Age...

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

Elephant Leak

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

False starts.

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

Cockroach Costume

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

A Heated Argument

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"