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"I can't shake the feeling that people don't respect me."

X-ray Psychology.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Some scents are nonsense.

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

'You're too aggressive.'

"He's a mental-health critic."

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

"Where do my needs fit into your little hierarchy, Maslow?"

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

Sensory confusion syndrome.

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

'Just because I like books does not mean I'm insecure.'

"I was on a roll at first. Then, things began to unravel, and my life just went down the drain."

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

'That was the view of the right side of my brain...now the view from the left side...'

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

Reverse Psychology: "It's not not gaslighting."

Oh, don't be a big baby, Al. I resent that remark, Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply that

'Maybe it isn't me. Maybe it's the rest of the world that's gone insane.'

"Believe me, you're just thinking about it too much."

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

Therapist giggling behind patient's back.