Family Zookeeper Gifts

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

ZOO

That's my daughter, Alayna

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

Wildcats Strike.

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

Giraffe Haircut

Giraffe and Gloves.

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

Bus for Giraffes.

'Stop crying! Daddy wears BROWN shoes!'

'You're kinky, aren't you, Samuel?'

Two cleaners at the zoo. They are sheltering under a giraffe to get out of the rain.

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'Will frolic in trees, or whatever it is we do, for food.'

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."

"After my arrest for trying to eat you, they put me in a captive breeding program."

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

'Nothing worse than a tickly throat!'

"Don't worry, I never get the jokes either, but if you clap your flippers, he'll throw you a fish..."

'Careful, he bites.'

VETERINARIAN, 'He has a nervous twitch.'

'It's their warm inquisitive eyes I find most unnerving. . .'

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

Zoo Corporation: Award for Solving a Big Pile of Poo Problems

"Lucky!"