Zoo Keeper Gifts

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'Having a sore throat is nothing. Wait until you get a stiff neck.'

'Now THAT'S a massage!'

ZOO

'Aspirin, Doctor?'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

The undisputed king of stepladder salesman.

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

'Yes, the baboon butts are supposed to look like that, you ignorant hicks.'

'Nothing worse than a tickly throat!'

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

'And here, in the zoo surgery, you see our veterinarian operating on an ape.'

'Well it dosen't look like an endangerd species to me...'

'Stop crying! Daddy wears BROWN shoes!'

"It says 'do not feed the monkeys'- but ten pound notes are ok."

'If you think this is a zoo, spend some time in the executive offices.'

Seated Elephant

Suicide by Boa Constrictor.

Kangaroo Exam

'H.Q., something strange is going on down here...'

Animal Relocation.

'My keeper cares - I'm captive bred!'

Zoo keeper feeds styrofoam peanuts to a styrofoam elephant.

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

Kangaroo helping pick up litter.

'Whose turn is it to floss them?'

It's a flea collar for the giraffe.

'I dont't know how many times I've told him not to bring his work home with him!'

"Shit! We forgot to get any animals!"

"Third case of contraband this week, I blame deer-to-deer networking."

Flight Crew in the Wild!

Due to budget cuts the zoo can only show animals in black and white.

"I'm sorry, but it's time to perform."

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."