Zoo Keeper Gifts

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'Having a sore throat is nothing. Wait until you get a stiff neck.'

ZOO

'Aspirin, Doctor?'

'Now THAT'S a massage!'

The undisputed king of stepladder salesman.

'Nothing worse than a tickly throat!'

'Yes, the baboon butts are supposed to look like that, you ignorant hicks.'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

'I never wanted to live in a zoo, but thanks to BP, I don't have a choice.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

Due to budget cuts the zoo can only show animals in black and white.

"It says 'do not feed the monkeys'- but ten pound notes are ok."

'If you think this is a zoo, spend some time in the executive offices.'

Seated Elephant

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"It's all very well they feed us fish when we work, but what about contributions to a retirement fund?"

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

"I'm sorry, but it's time to perform."

"Third case of contraband this week, I blame deer-to-deer networking."

'Well it dosen't look like an endangerd species to me...'

'Stop crying! Daddy wears BROWN shoes!'

Kangaroo Exam

Suicide by Boa Constrictor.

'And here, in the zoo surgery, you see our veterinarian operating on an ape.'

'H.Q., something strange is going on down here...'

Animal Relocation.

'My keeper cares - I'm captive bred!'

Zoo keeper feeds styrofoam peanuts to a styrofoam elephant.

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

Kangaroo helping pick up litter.

'Whose turn is it to floss them?'

It's a flea collar for the giraffe.