Family Traditions Fan Gifts

"Funny, that's what Grandpa used to say."

"Living 900 years is all right, but your great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren never come to visit."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'Hey, wait a minute!'

"I'm pretty sure your grandma's secret apple pie recipe is not considered an unauthorized classified document."

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"It was our grandmother's wedding dress—we had her exhumed so you could wear it."

Freak Family.

'What do you mean, you don't want to dry grapes in the sun for dessert wines, like your father? He's a big success--and only 32!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"Thank you for coming with me. This is a sacred family tradition."

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

"When I moved here after your mother passed... The first thing I did was make this altar...so I could pray for her. But your father said, 'Just no photos.'"

Christening

"I can tell you that's not the version of Uncle Sam that I grew up with."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

Evolution explained.

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"Mom does this for everyone's birthday, if you don't applaud, no dessert for a week."