Family Therapist Humor T-Shirts

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"I knew you'd understand."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"You're right, Carl. Everything does suck."

"So, you went up the water spout and the rain came down and washed you out. How did you feel about that and what did you do?"

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."