Family Pride Promoter Pillows

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

You Are Now Entering Texas Think Big

'I'm so proud: My son can't sit still...'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Reflected Glory

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

"But first, our national anthem."

Minnesota Weather.

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

I'm Proud of my Gay Son!....I'm Proud of my Cross-Dressing Dad.

Greece

"Just principal will suffice, Ed."

I got a hundred in school today... 50 in history, and 50 in maths!

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."

Gas: We proudly sell only American drilled petroleum products.

Millennial

"That was a good two weeks of watching America dominate the Olympics and not seeing anything else on TV."

University of Nebraska sold out for 375 games in a row but now is in danger of ending that due to poor performance.

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

I love my brother!

"Annual We-Love-Our-Homeland-But- We'd -Rather -Live -Here Parade.