Family Pets Pillows

"It's Friday night. Should we doze, nap, or snooze?"

'$100 Larry? That's it?!'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"On scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being 'can't live without him', how close were you to the cat?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Super Dog'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

Dog History

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'