Family Night Champion Pillows

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Love is when you watch television together.

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Albino broccoli mum!"

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

A family choir

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

Puzzle Family

'We're still crazy then ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

Children use their dad as a seesaw base.

Players fight over a board-game called 'Squabble'.

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

'How did it go at the track today, dear?'

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

Home theatre.

'I thought we were going to the zoo too, but look at that red blob there...doesn't it look like a bird? Or a cow?'

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

Bingo Addicts...

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'